Kalari Rasayana – Leave Your World Here

When everyone else was turning Ayurveda into a spa experience, Jose Dominic, MD of CGH Earth, did something radical – he went back to the beginning. Not to sell wellness, but to preserve a science that was five thousand years old. I’m Keralan. I grew up with Ayurveda the way you grow up with a grandmother – you don’t f

ully appreciate her until she’s gone. Mine administered food as medicine and treated every ailment with herbs. I didn’t appreciate any of this until both she and my mother died and part of my heritage died with them.

In 2004 Dominic restored a 200-year-old palace in northern Kerala 7 Kilometres from where I was born and opened it as a proper hospital. Pure Ayurveda: No menus, no negotiation, medicines made on site from their own organic farm and every prescription drawn from the classical Samhita texts. Your doctor decides what you eat, when you sleep, what goes on your skin. In the beginning, no one came. By 2012 the waiting list told a different story, and Kalari Rasayana opened in the south – eight acres of coconut groves along the Paravur backwaters. The Kerala I remember from my childhood – lush greenery, soothing smells and beautiful people.

I needed to do something radical too. A year of holding everyone else together – an elderly parent, a teenager, a partner who hadn’t been well had left my nervous system in pieces. So, I did what made sense: I went back to my roots.

When the staff met me at the entrance with a jasmine garland, chanting a mantra and performing a welcoming fire ceremony, I had a mixture of emotions – firstly embarrassment at being seen. As a middle-aged woman I have the superpower of being invisible, and here was a team of people making that entirely impossible. And then, underneath the embarrassment, something that felt very much like gratitude. Help had finally arrived.

As I crossed the threshold, a wooden sign read: Please Leave Your World Here. I was ready. No qualms about surrendering to the white kurta pyjama to be worn for the duration of the stay, or adhering to the strict regime that I, as a free spirit and committed rule-breaker, would have ordinarily questioned. The white cotton pyjamas are doing something deliberate – making us all the same, stripping back identification with the outside world. None of us are leaving for at least the next fourteen days and will embark upon a cleanse for mind, body and spirit – not for the faint-hearted.

I’m led to see a Vaidya (Doctor) for a full consultation. My ailments are as long as a shopping list, but I pick just one that I’d love to work on – resetting my nervous system. My theory being that if I can address the tech-addicted, chocolate-soothing, crisis-to-crisis-lurching person I have somehow become, the rest might sort itself out.

Dr Firoz Varun leads the medical team and has the kind of calm that makes you want to confess everything, which indeed I do. After an examination and a five-page questionnaire I am told I am a vata-pitta constitution – vata being the energy of movement, air, instability. In imbalance it provokes anxiety, insomnia, dry skin, mental restlessness, difficulty focusing and nervous system chaos. That would be tick, tick, tick all the way and yes double tick at the end. I ask whether the vata imbalance also explains my conviction that chocolate cures everything. He nods and smiles politely and says, “Yes. Sweet cravings, but no desert here.” Adding that my mobile phone is to stay in my room. Given that tech addiction is the first item on my ailment list, this feels pointed. So, we’re not easing into this.

He explains the three-stage detoxification process. The preparatory stage, poorvakarma, preparing the body through massage and drinking increasing amounts of medicated ghee. Followed by purgation (pretty much says what it does on the tin) he either doesn’t go into too much detail on this part or I am concentrating very hard on what he says about the final rejuvenation stage with more massages. I tend to focus on things I like to hear.

I am introduced to Rashina and Anjana, my two massage therapists for the duration. The sun is shining and they walk with me holding an umbrella to shield me from the heat – even this small act of care makes me want to cry. It has been a while since someone held an umbrella up for me. We walk through the organic herb garden passing mango trees, palm trees, the scent of neem taking me straight back to my grandmother, who used neem leaves and twigs as my makeshift toothbrush when I was a child.

By the time I’m in the therapy room I’m trying to hold back tears, momentarily distracted only by the langotti (a cotton thong that really doesn’t cover much) which I have to put on. As I change into it, I walk back to the therapists with my eyes half closed. I’m not used to being visible – especially almost naked. They greet me smiling, sit me down, say a prayer and then I am helped onto the wooden massage bench.

The first treatment is Udwarthanam – medicated powder rubbed vigorously across the body in a synchronised massage. It takes me a while to get into as I cannot quite believe how synchronised four hands can be. The massage lasts about an hour before a shower is prepared and all I have to do is step into it.

The different treatments continue this way with a level of tenderness and care that I soak in for the next fourteen days. I am no longer distracted by the levels of synchronisation and learn to completely relax. Interspersed are Bihar yoga sessions and yoga nidras that I can never stay awake for – it has been a while since I have felt this level of rest.

The food is simple, organic and vegetarian – prescribed specifically for my constitution, one type of fruit at breakfast, herbal warm water always, even in the room. At every meal the finger bowl is brought to me. I literally do not lift a finger. Nothing is required of me.

I will not linger on the four days of medicated ghee – drunk in incrementally increasing amounts each morning, designed to penetrate deep into the cells and pull the toxins out from places you didn’t know toxins lived. Suffice to say all the toxins are then eliminated through a day of purgation. I stay in my room. I stay very close to the toilet. We’ll leave it there.

The rejuvenation came quietly, more like a gradual unveiling than a magician’s “ta-da.” I felt lighter. I could taste every flavour in the food; my sense of smell was heightened. Dr Firoz told me to give it a few weeks or months before I felt the full effects – which is exactly what a person who has just drunk four days of ghee and gone through a day and night of purgation needs to hear.

I had a lump in my throat as I hugged Rashina and Anjana goodbye. They had witnessed my tears, sadness and laughter – my transformation, and to be witnessed as an ‘invisible woman’ is in itself an incredible thing. It truly gives you a superpower – the feeling that there is more, much more, still to come.

A month on, I’m back home and on a Zoom consultation with Dr Firoz, I tell him that I’m sleeping well. No dry skin, no gas, no nervous anticipation of the next crisis – just renewed energy, a sense of self and an excitement at the quiet unfolding of a new chapter…

The chocolate though. Some things are simply beyond the reach of medicated ghee.

Kalari Rasayana, CGH Earth, Paravoor Village, South Kerala. Minimum stay 14 days. www.cghearthayurveda.com

 

 

 

Every year, I go to the Edinburgh Fringe and immerse myself in storytelling, hoping to get better at my craft.
This year’s biggest lesson came from an unexpected source.


In a science lecture room, a Madonna tribute act was singing and dancing her heart out to a largely unenthusiastic crowd.


Behind her, a PowerPoint slide read:
“I am not reinventing myself. I am going through the layers and revealing myself.”
Madonna


I talk a lot about reinvention. I give keynotes on it.
But perhaps reinvention isn’t about becoming someone new.
Maybe it’s about having the courage to reveal more of who you already are.

The singer, kept giving it everything, despite getting very little back. She continued singing her heart out.

And then one person stood up and danced.

That gave someone else permission to join in. And then someone else.

Not everyone will understand what you do. Not everyone will respond.
But the right people will find you. They will take what they need from what you offer, sometimes in ways you may never know.

The work is not to win over the whole room.
It is to keep singing regardless…

In the middle of a keynote, I spotted a man sleeping in the front row. Not nodding off but fully committed and unapologetically asleep.

I spent the rest of that talk trying not to focus on him, which made me focus on him more, ignoring the hundred and fifty people behind him who were very much awake.

I drove home and replayed it the whole way. Then replayed it again for the rest of the week. Dissecting every word. Wondering if I’d ever work again, because that’s what it still feels like when I don’t think I’ve delivered.

Six months later, someone in that audience hired me for one of the biggest storytelling programmes I’ve delivered.

I think about that.

How we fixate on the one sleeping man and miss the room that’s wide awake for us.

The story always lands somewhere. Sometimes, you just don’t always get to see where 💚

I had the privilege of speaking in Parliament alongside remarkable women whose journeys continue to reshape what leadership looks like.

My message: at any point in your journey, you can decide to rewrite your story. You are never finished becoming who you are meant to be.
Telling our stories in such an incredible space is how we make room for new ones to be written 🙏🏽

From Unravelling – My thoughts on patterns in our lives:

Everything in life has a pattern – our own lives are filled with patterns.Patterns give us a feeling of familiarity and safety, even when they are wrong for us.

Perhaps we repeat the patterns we seek to avoid, that somewhere in the universe, there is a trail of past memories that pull us back for resolution.

If only we could step outside of them, observe the sequence and stop repeating them.

Unravelling is my love letter to the wild, wonderful process of unlearning who we were told to be and becoming who we truly are…

Unravelling Shortlisted as Independent Book of the Year!

No blonde alter-ego publicist this time—just me, feeling incredibly proud (for so many reasons) to share that Unravelling has been shortlisted for The UK Selfie Book Awards 2025 for Best Independent Adult Fiction.

📕 I wrote Unravelling to give a voice to the ‘invisible woman’ and made the tough decision to turn down a fourth book deal with HarperCollins to keep that voice authentic. Fear was loud, constantly telling me that Unravelling would never see the light of day without that deal. But I took the leap and jumped anyway.

➡️ To anyone battling self-doubt while chasing a dream or following a gut feel that makes no sense – keep going. Fear is part of the process. Let it whisper, shout, and stomp its procrastinating foot… Just keep going… 🙏✨

👱‍♀️ The last time I was shortlisted for a book award, well it wasn’t me technically, it was my alter-ego publicist who I named Pru, I was secretly hoping not to win because thanking the multiple versions of myself who were a dream to work with would have been tricky…

This time, I will be going as myself! #KeepGoing #SelfieBookAwards2025 #londonbookfair

JUST BEGIN

If you have a book, a project an idea for a business but are procrastinating… 👉 Just begin. Beginning is an act of rebellion. Sometimes, just against your small self that keeps telling you that you can’t. Then, just keep going….

I had given up my job to write my first novel, got rejected by every publisher, set up my own publishing and PR company, hyped my novel under an alias and got it into the book charts. My publicist alter-ego was short-listed as publicist of the year for the great job she did. I didn’t go to the awards ceremony as I couldn’t thank the various parts of myself who had been brilliant to work with. In spite of my success, nothing happened. I kept writing even when my smaller self was screaming even louder telling me, STOP.

Years later, I had signed a 3 book deal with HarperCollins and finished my third book. It is such a cliché but it’s never about the destination, for me it has been about the adventure, the people I get to meet and how I have grown as a person. Much has happened since then, lots of endings and beginnings….

📣What I would like to share is:

✅ The power of just beginning is hugely underrated
✅ The willingness to let go and start again is a great gift

6 years ago, I wrote a one woman show called Sari: The whole Five Yards about a 60-year-old woman who tells the truth for the very first time and in doing so, her life unravels. I was, at that point, safely ensconced in my comfort zone unaware how my life would unravel with this piece of work. Nobody wanted to commission the show.

Having never acted before, I booked a theatre in Covent Garden, rehearsed for 18 months, put it on playing all 17 parts. It was one of the most terrifying/exilharating things that I have done. The show got bought by a production company, it then got pulled during the pandemic as budgets were cut. I did everything I could not to write the novel that it wanted to be. It took me about four years to write.

I was offered a fourth book deal with HarperCollins and for various reasons, had to turn it down. The book is still on a journey with me – unravelling as we make our first stop in Germany.

This post is to mark a milestone in a project where many times, I have wanted to give up. The things that have kept me going are:

  • No regrets – The thought of not doing it scares me more than the thought of doing it. Life is short!
  • Easing off on the pressure – Seeing the whole thing as an adventure and not my life’s work!
  • Focussing on why I started the project in the first place – which was to give voice to people we don’t often hear from

Die Freischwimmerin is published by Droemer today (available at amazon and all bookshops)

 

A study by Dr Gail Matthews, a Psychology Professor at Dominican University of California, demonstrated that writing down your goals increases the odds of success by 42%.

My first job after graduating was glorified tea maker to a chain-smoking boss whose favourite word when he spoke to me was, “error”. The job of “Consultant” had somewhat been mis-sold to me and I should have known having seen the smoke-filled room, the ashtray piled high and the confined space littered with used teabags. However, I took the job and should have left immediately but for various reasons, didn’t.

My boss, let’s call him Harry, would stand over my shoulder as he dictated his letters and shouted “error” every time I made a grammatical mistake. It was every other sentence and hugely soul-destroying as ironically, I harboured dreams of being a writer.

However, no job in my career history propelled me like this one. Weirdly, when I feel confined, there is space to dream and one day, when he was at a client meeting, I took out a piece of paper from the printer tray and wrote down my goals. It went something like this:

* I am a best-selling novelist

* My books are translated internationally

* I write films and plays

* I have my own consultancy where imagination and creativity are at the centre of what I do

And so it went on……

I folded the piece of paper and put it in the book that had inspired this process (Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People — the chapter on Beginning with the end in mind). Very recently, whilst moving house, I came across that list written over twenty years ago, I slowly unfolded it and read it. Pretty much everything had materialised.

Dr Gail in her study, suggests not just writing goals, but committing to goal-directed actions, and also, creating accountability for those actions.

I would add:

  • Describe them in full technicolour, detailing how it will make you feel.
  • Take Action. HUGE if possible (perhaps don’t create a double life). Huge action shows commitment and will get you to where you want to go faster.
  • Journal out your your fears and doubts. When you put them on the page, they are less scary and surmountable. Journaling also allows access to your subcounscious mind — your biggest ally.